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How To Cheat On A Cholesterol Test

October 19, 2009

Oh my god — OMG — oh my god! Three men collapsed and died during a marathon in Detroit yesterday. One participant is blaming the cold weather. A person in Holland is blaming U.S. beef. Did someone just say poisoned Gatorade??! Was it the flu vaccine? Rising amounts of carbon dioxide in the air? Big mystery. I went to see my doctor a week before my race for my annual exam. “I can’t test your cholesterol now,” she told me, “That’s cheating! And your heart rate is low and perfect. Wait four months after the race,” she ordered, “Come back for a test when you are a normal person.” Busted… My friend emailed me an article in an Israeli paper, laying out the risks associated with running a marathon in Chicago. Lots of talk about surging temperatures and people collapsing from overheating and dehydration. Yada yada. I assured him that Chicago had learned the lesson from the 2007 marathon crisis. This year, the city has arranged for much colder weather. Nothing to worry about. My son’s teacher said to me the other day that there is a saying in Yiddish: “Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht.” Man plans, God laughs. Who knows where the risks are. I think running is my sport. I think I’m hooked.

Detroit Marathon Deaths: 3 Runners Die During Marathon In Detroit, The Huffington Post, October 18, 2009

Art: Fire Series, by Oleg Osharov, available under Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license

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