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High Maintenance

November 5, 2009

Running is a lifestyle, they say. You can’t just wake up one morning and go run a marathon, they say. I am lazy in the sense that I sometimes quibble with my need to keep a regular workout routine. I train best under fire, when the D-Day is imminent. Otherwise, I let myself go. This is what I’ve been doing lately: Nothing. Not even Yoga, which is the anti-sport, the sport that was invented for people who don’t want to say they don’t exercise. “What’s the point?” I tell myself, “Yoga is not a real sport. I’d better go eat a sandwich and watch some CNN.” Here I am, almost a month after my big race, not working out whatsoever. And I feel great! I can still walk around bragging about my marathon. I realize this is as pathetic as the reminder in the paper yesterday that the Cubs have won the World Series in 1908. I will pull myself together and start running again, in moderation. But I enjoy the ups and downs, what can I say, I like the thrills of the extremes. I thought about this today when I went to see J-D, my hair stylist. In one of my previous visits he explained to me that unlike dental appointments, getting highlights is a lifestyle that needs constant maintenance, not semi-annual checkups. Now every time I go to see J-D I prepare a statement, just in case he grilled me about it: “It’s my rough look. It’s my not-giving-a-damn-what-I-look-like look.” J-D is a genius. He doesn’t try to instill new lifestyles in me. Instead we talk about honeybee AIDS and clean air and covet the talent of that straight dick from the RedEye who writes so well.

Art: Extreme Yoga, by Rena Cugelman, available under Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative license

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